song of the hour: none.

song of the hour: none.
desired songs of the hour: lots.

haven’t really had much time to explore much in the music scene, but there’s a bunch i’d like to look into.

clinic. heard a couple of really good songs. I want to hear more!!
dj shadow. I definitely want to hear more from this guy. he’s amazing.
and so it goes for a few other bands. but honestly, my music selection feels so paltry right now. none of the new bands i’ve heard of seem particularly interesting to me. sure, I think the white stripes and the hives and the vines and the strokes are good and fun. they just aren’t it.

anyway, that unreleased nirvana song (you know you’re right) is pretty bad-ass though. click the link to get a listen. it’s what all the crap rock bands nowadays can only dream of doing. bow to kurt cobain, infidels!

also, I’ve got to say, eminem’s new song (I think it’s called “Lose Yourself”) is pretty sweet, even if it follows that power-crescendo anthemic formula every cock-rock song has to have (a formula most recently abused by pink in “just like a pill”). his vocal style and his lyrical arrangements are quite compelling; he comes at you at multiple levels with his voices forming certain rhythms and interlocking with those of the beats, bombarding one’s senses in the way the real world bombards ours every day. and it has a grittiness and intensity i really like. sure, it’s a hyper-produced commercial work, but it’s a very effective communication of the challenges the artist feels like he’s dealing with. it sent a couple of chills up me spine.

I’ve probably already talked about eminem in this blog, but I think i’ll bring it up again. it’s true that eminem says a lot of really horrible things about a lot of people — he’s made some very racist, misogynistic, homophobic comments, he insults people for no apparent reason (chris kirkpatrick? why the hell does eminem know who he is??), and generally he tries to be a pain in the ass. so he’s said some offensive things in his music. everyone expresses themselves or certain ideas in different ways; artists are better at doing so than most people. that’s why they’re called “artists.” and the ideas that artists express, like the ideas that everyone has, aren’t always exactly how we feel, nor the ones that we’ll carry through, nor the ones that govern our life thinking. they’re just “ideas.”

so a gifted artist like eminem has, like most of us, a complicated life in a complicated world. and like all of us, he has lots of ideas! everyone reacts to the world around themselves, right? they think about things, get mad when their boss puts too much pressure on them, get upset when things don’t go our way, are happy when we eat a good meal, etc. so we have lots of fleeting thoughts. eminem, as a recording artist, gets PAID to express those thoughts, large or small, deep or inconsequential in his life. he gets paid to imagine creative ways to express those ideas. it’s the art that can be created — not necessarily the moral value of those ideas — that is what actually matters.

so respect him for what he is: an artist. you don’t have to listen to his songs if you don’t like the message. if you’re worried about your kids, you can teach your children to think critically about it and do your best to instill a proper sense of values in him or her yourself. eminem is a mature artist, not your child’s babysitter.

new domain name?

I really *really* need to get a domain name and a webhosting service. it massively sucks being on geocities. I’ve come to this conclusion after dealing with the hassle commenting is when your own site host does not support scripts of any kind. I’m currently using enetation.co.uk, which is usually reaaaaaaally slow but accessible, but is currently completely failing me at this moment. maaaaaan.

so. i’ve made a resolution. I’m going to find a REAL host and put all sorts of cool doodads on my site! I’ll actually have space to put up all sorts of neat stuff! I’ll put streaming media on my site! I’m going to be able to have php, or at least cgi scripting available to use, and I will finally break free from geocities! whoohoo!

… but I need a name. what can I call it? I’ve thought of “www.pearlescent.net” but that sounds so … “memememememe.” does anyone want to share a domain and host sites off of it? otherwise, I’ll just go solo and think of a crappy name.

suggestions are welcome. please email me at straypixie[at]yahoo[.]com. (remove the extra characters, formatting, etc etc).

neato bandito!

www.resfest.com

Film festival celebrating digital filmmaking.. and it’s coming to LA! I really want to go to one of the events where they screen a bunch of music videos done in digital. they’re screening videos from artists like doves, bjork, white stripes, cornelius, david byrne, the hives, clinic, dj shadow, and a bunch of others. yaaay cool music! yaaay cool videos!

anyway, check out the site, check out the festival! maybe you’ll find somethin’ you like too. :)

and diablo raises its ugly head…

first off, I can’t believe i’m even talking about this game. faithful readers of this site remember that I spoke of my diablo 2 addiction when I first began this weblog. two years later, it’s STILL being mentioned. good gracious.

anyway, the reason i’m mentioning it is because I’ve started playing it again. and not just me. in fact, jerimy’s even more into it than I am. admittedly, playing multiplayer is a lot more fun than playing alone (which I did a lot of the time), and playing with his kick-ass werewolf druid with grizzly summon isn’t bad. :) I’m building a lightning sorceress right now, focusing on chain lightning and thunderstorm with maybe some points in static field thrown in. static field is awesome. 25% damage each time! but I’m not sure how it fares in nightmare and hell modes so I don’t want to put too much into it. then again, i don’t think i’m actually going to get that far, so what am I worried about??

oh diablo. diablo took away every evening of the whole last week and our entire weekend. it was quite fun though. :) and just when we thought it was going to get boring, I dug up some mods and hacks for d2x and found a cool character editor… needless to say, it adds a whole other dimension to gameplay when you can give yourself all those cool items you wanted. :)

nevertheless, i’m itching to play warcraft again… or for that matter, starcraft. believe it or not, I’d never played starcraft until this year. oh goodness… blizzard, you give us too much good stuff!!!!! I can’t wait for World of Warcraft!!

time for a gaming break. -rubs hands together-

soooooo cooooooooold!

It was sooooooooooooo cold yesterdaaaaaaaaaaay.

I wore little more than a spaghetti tank, jeans, and a thin sweater yesterday and I arrived on campus in for a shock.

it was freaking cold. and drizzling a bit. would it rain too?? what kind of weather is this??? auuuuugh!!

frantically, I ran back to my car to search for another sweater! a sweatshirt! an umbrella! anything! unfortunately, I had cleaned out the car the weekend before and removed all extraneous things from it. including warm, fluffy sweatshirts. with hoods.

and not ONLY was it cold yesterday, I got to campus at 9:30, having spent a good hour and a half in traffic, and found that UCLA parking services were out of daily permits in lot 2. And all the other lots on campus. The only lots they had open were lot 32 (which was out in westwood) and lot 1 (behind the medical center, also in westwood). I ended up driving to Lot 32, found parking, missed the shuttle several times while searching my car for something warm, finally catch my shuttle only to be on campus too late for my 9:30 class. AUGHGHGHGH!!

Mean, Mean day!

On the other hand, I’ve made a friend in a couple of my classes! He’s my laptop buddy. Both of us, through the nature of our notetaking, are stuck sitting by power outlets all the time, so we end up sitting together in two of my classes. He’s neat! He’s married, so I get to ask him advice on weddings, etc.

Speaking of which, I still have no idea what to do about mine. Jer and I were thinking next winter maybe… or even this winter. hehehe. -shrugs- I guess we’ll see. I’m kind of wary of planning a wedding though… seems like too big a deal, too big a hassle, and too much politicking among family and such. simple and smalllll is fine with me! and well.. maybe a reception. :) woohoo!

“you can make me whole again…”

the title is a reference to a cheeky song by british girl-pop group atomic kitten. I’m not sure if they’re still around anymore, and I don’t even know why I thought about it, but I was trying to think of a way to explain the strange feeling I have right now about the incipient new school year.

so i’ll say it. i’m nervous. after months and months of screwing up in school, I am actually coming close to getting my act together. after years of awful awful grades, i pulled A’s and B’s this summer (it’s amazing what can happen when you go to class!), and I’m hoping to keep that up this year. I have one more year left — I won’t be done until fall quarter — but I’m thinking of picking up an anthropology minor with that extra time. that might be some sort of justification to my taking foreeeeeeever in school?

and here i am, the night before classes start, and i can’t sleep. i’m restless, nervous, wondering if i’ll be able to cut it in these classes. i don’t *feel* smart. in fact, I feel dumber than I was when I first got to college. i look at some of my earlier writings and compare them to the stuff i churn out now for my classes. I think I struggle even more nowadays to put together a coherent sentence than I ever did when I was younger, and I no longer have easy answers for anyone, including myself. growing older doesn’t feel like i’m growing wiser, but rather that i just know less than I thought I did.

is that wisdom? who knows. at any rate, a friend and I were recently discussing a not-so-great experience both of us had with a student organization. I had gotten out before things had gotten too bad; she had stayed in and been summarily stripped of her position, despite her immense contributions in spite of very poor health. she reacted with a lot of anger and frustration… basically how I felt after my bad experience at the daily bruin. “why are things this way? it’s not fair!” and she was right… it wasn’t fair. I personally didn’t think it was very fair to her. A part of me thinks that it probably wasn’t fair to me either, but it’s not really so clear cut. what’s fair anyway?

the thing is, everyone here is learning, and people don’t always do what’s “fair.” They do what they think is right at the time, and it may or may not be the fair thing to do, but (hopefully) everyone learns from their actions. I learned a lot from the mistakes i made during my sophomore year — I learned how *not* to handle a position of leadership and the importance of keeping one’s mouth shut (though not the actual skill… still working on that), as well as the need to give a little and treat people like people, not as duties. People grow and change, and we have to resist our desires to box them up for our own ease of existence…

this is something i haven’t perfected yet either, although i survive on the graces of people who are willing to see that in me. but i try.

a friend once wrote in my high school yearbook, “you are proof that people ARE dynamic, and that they CAN change…” I didn’t know what to make of it at the time, but I have faith in the message, although I am ambivalent about its application toward me. people grow and change, sometimes for the better, sometimes not. and even though it’s sad sometimes to see innocence shattered, knowing that redemption is possible is a truly inspiring and exciting thing.

so here i am, penning what feels like “UC Personal Statement Part Two: The Second Four Years” the night before classes start. I’m nervous about a crowded campus; about running into not-quite-friends and acquaintances and having to explain myself; about navigating the human traffic jam that is UCLA during the school year; about being overrun by the new first years and their inspired attitudes. I’m nervous about traffic on the 405, and if i’ll make it to class on time. I’m nervous that my professors for the quarter will be horrible and unreasonably demanding and sink my newly-rising GPA. I have four more quarters to go — it seems like an eternity! I’m curious as to what’s in store. I’ll be 23 when I graduate. 23!! I’m the age of a lot of those Miss America pageant contestants, good gracious. And they seem OLD!

and yet, we are ALL so young… from that incoming freshman to the aging hippie driving the land rover to even alheimzer-ridden ronald reagan. so much yet to learn!

oooh.. i think i’m getting dizzy. good night.. and wish me luck. =)

my grandparents are sooo cool.

My grandpa is about as tall as me; my grandmother is even shorter. They’re in their 80s, but they’re still as spry and lively and funny as they were decades ago. My grandparents love to laugh, even though they’ve been through so much hardship. my grandparents born in the countryside, born into lives of hard farm labor. they grew up, came together in an arranged marriage, had children, survived the nanking massacres. they eventually left china for taiwan, amidst the communist takeover. they’ve watched their three children grow up, have children of their own, seen the world spin in circles around them, and yet they can still “hang.” they are living proof that if you can stick through the bad, things will be all right at the end…

i’ll see if i can get a pic of them up soon. :)