Author: Pearl L

Ok, finals are coming up, and that’s NOT cool!

but sushi is! I went to creative sushi in Santa Monica saturday night, and omg.. it was sooo good! It was the best I’ve eaten in such a long time! What started as a simple – but quite appealing – idea for our anthropology project on the transformation of art became a joyous eating event. The four of us (Jen, Marie, David, and me) ordered a rainbow roll, spicy tuna, unagi nigiri, amago nigiri, salmon nigiri, a seaweed roll, and 2 california rolls. I think I ate a good third of all that. plus I had a tempura plate, which came at the end of dinner, right before our dessert of tempura bananas in chocolate syrup came, meaning I had to scarf down the tempura quickly. but ooh.. it was well done. not too greasy… and the veggies were tender too. :)

aaah!! and the tempura bananas!! yuuuuuum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hehehe. I love food. :)

Since he had kindly borrowed the movie from home, David and I watched “The Big Lebowski” at my place after we all got back. Strange movie. Amusing movie. Philip Seymour Hoffman is a darned good actor. He plays this amusing caricature of a millionaire’s assistant to a point with all the ticks and tonal modulations of one accustomed to taking care of guests, being thisclose to patronizing, yet, not quite over. The recent budweiser commercial parodying the “wazzup” ad prior to it featured guys who took it just a little too far into cheesiness. Hoffman does a nice little job pushing, but not crossing the line.

And this is just a little tiny role. I guess I’m impressed with this little role because it’s such a contrast to his performance in “The Talented Mr. Ripley,” the only other movie I’ve seen him in. Hoffman plays jude law’s char’s best friend, who gets a little suspicious of Matt Damon’s char’s activities. He has a very good feel for his roles… he fills them nicely, being able to insert the necessary touch (be it of malice or of smarminess) without overwhelming the role with easy caricatures.

Very very cool. :)

Also kind of cool, but also kind of.. strange. after finishing the movie, david and I sat on our futon and chatted for a bit. We also managed to overhear one of our neighbors having sex with her boyfriend. *oops* but more on this later. ;o) time to sleep now.

I think I’m going blind.

No, not Selma-Dancer in the Dark blind, but my vision is definitely deteriorating at a rapid rate. It’s harder to see, it’s harder to perceive things as I once could. I feel like I’m living my life in a strange haze, cheerily ignoring important things that I would worry about before, just because I don’t recognize its existence as I used to.

I feel like I do a lot of things that hurt other people. Be it from sheer obliviousness or from simply being indifferent and less considerate than I should be, it happens… more than it should.

So I’m young, right? I can be young and reckless…I can be irresponsible for a while. But I’m not so young anymore… I’m 21, dammit. my parents look at me like I’m an adult. I should be acting like one.

but it’s probably time to put away childish tendencies…

Lately it feels like my life is a series of bad decisions.

Decisions about school. decisions about my living situation. decisions about what I choose to do with my time, decisions about who I hang out with, decisions on how to deal with people. Life is about making decisions, and more and more, I find that my abilities are crap.

It just feels like I have so much more to learn, and that I’ve lost a lot of that knowledge in the past couple of years… I’ve made some bad choices that have led me to the point where I am now. just a few short years! months, even! and this is what happens? I gues sit’s kind of scary.. you recognize the power you have over your own life.. you realize much more that it really does matter, no matter how far you might try to deny it.

So where does it end? At what point do you free yourself enough to live your life? There is a time for contemplation and a time for action. I’ve been delaying the action for so long… pushing it back further and further…

but you can only run for so long.

Sometimes I miss sitting still.

Do you know how that feeling is? It’s this sense that you’re a walking bottle of passions, and you try to control these, but the more you keep them bottled up, the more useless it becomes. It drives itself mad, shrivels up into a wizened twig. You’re faced with odd sense of longing, but rather than being a source of motivation, it merely frays your nerves.

Nevermind. our heathen pizza is here!