grief, and getting older

I got a call from my mom on saturday night telling me that my uncle had lost his battle with cancer. the outcome had been expected for a little while; he was diagnosed with a rare form of skin cancer a few months ago, and it was known to spread quickly. he was in his late 60s/early 70s.

i’ve been playing phone tag with my mom since then, so i haven’t gotten to talk to her yet about how she’s doing, how the family in taiwan is doing, what’s going to happen next. the reality hasn’t really hit me yet: i was never super close to this uncle, the time i had spent with him had always been warm. this outcome had been expected for a little while…

but then i realized earlier today that this uncle is the first of my mom’s generation to go. her brother-in-law is gone. it’s beginning… it throws the fact that my own parents are getting up there in age into greater relief. they are nearing retirement. how are my sister and i going to look after them once they get older? they’re not retired yet – it’s still maybe 10 or so years away – but that’s not really a very long time in the grand scheme of things. i wonder if my parents are feeling it. i know i am…

i worry about my parents, both about the now and about the future. hopefully i can talk to them tomorrow.