so it is easier to deal with things when removed from them than when you are actively participating. when you’re participating, you have an active responsibility to those you are interacting with: their feelings, their interests. sure, it’s important to be yourself, but part of being a good yourself is to be aware of other people’s feelings and sensitivities. it’s an art that maybe is to be learned with time and maturity. in this young, individuality-obsessed society, it’s easy to forget to take into consideration the other people with whom we share our society. it’s expected almost, that one ought not care, or think about other people, even though we depend on other people every day in order to live our lives.
we are not independent creatures; we are interdependent ones. it is too easy to be the person removed and distant; it is a form of copping out on your obligation to the world around you. what obligation, you ask? at the root of it, i’ve always felt it is important to be give and offer the most of yourself as possible, because it is simply selfish otherwise. how are we to be individuals who take and take from our society and not give anything back to that which sustains us? it is too selfish of a thing to think and act as a single person alone, unmindful of the needs of those around us, and foolish to not contribute to the advancement of all just because we tend to be lazy in carrying out our part of the load.
it takes courage and bravery to be as much of yourself as you possibly can be. i’m the first to say that it isn’t easy, since i’ve struggled with this belief of mine for quite some time now. it takes a certain fearlessness that i can’t say i have just yet, although i do hope that one day i will. and it takes a maturity and understanding of self and others that i simply haven’t achieved yet.
(i’m just not there yet…)
maybe i just need to dig in and live a little more, try to keep myself from indulging my affinity for the shadows and step out into the bright lights of the city (literally and figuratively). maybe i should do more to express myself and figure out who i am more, take more choices upon myself and live out the consequences, for better or worse, rather than hiding away after every mistake.
it’s about time i learned how to sing. maybe it will be full and proud, maybe it will be quiet yet clear. but i can’t hide away from finding my voice anymore…