ascii matrix

this is definitely the link of the day.

it takes a little bit to load, but trust me, it's worth it. =)

Bookmarks~!!!

okay, here's a post dedicated to my bookmarks. :) My super secret sources for random crap. -winks-

Salon Magazine
CNN
Fatwallet
Kuro5shin
Plastic
kottke.org
Slashdot
New York Times
Washington Post
Craigslist: Los Angeles

i am P.E.A.R.L.~!!

P.E.A.R.L. = Positronic Electronic Assassination and Repair Lifeform

Beware of ME!! Muhuhahahah!!

naked bambi hunts??

CNN.com - Las Vegas mayor: Naked 'Bambi' hunts a fraud - Jul. 26, 2003

so that damn thing WAS a hoax!!

I guess you can't get away with EVERYTHING in las vegas.

pop culture TRASH!

okay, a blog update for aaron.

[02:06:58AM] Ma: Why haven't you updated yours yet?
[02:07:03AM] Ma: It's been, like, a week.
[02:07:12AM] ¤ pearl ¤: i'll try to think of something interesting
[02:07:17AM] Ma: Here's one --
[02:07:19AM] ¤ pearl ¤: some of the stuff that's gone on, i can't blog
[02:07:26AM] Ma: I saw on VH1's Pop Culture
[02:07:36AM] Ma: Henry Winkler, of Fonzi fame, was a Yale Drama graduate
[02:07:43AM] Ma: Discuss :)

great, it's like i'm back in school again!! woohoo!! i think being on my summer bum schedule is really messing with my head. i NEED that structure, that requirement that i go to school and/or be productive, or i can sit in front of my computer and more or less waste the day away. i've done that quite a bit in the past couple of days.

So as per Ma's suggestion, i will pontificate on the topic of Henry Winkler, of Fonzi fame, was a Yale Drama graduate. I won't guarantee that it will be on topic at all, but Ma, you will have something to read.

You know, actually, i'm more interested in the show he saw that little tidbit on. VH1 Pop Culture?? sweet!! i'm a sucker for all those celebrity/pop culture profile shows. VH1 has running those "I Love the 80s" shows quite frequently in the past couple weeks or so, and everytime the TV is on and one of those shows is on, that's where the channel clicker stops. It's a veritable parade of B-list celebrities and pseudo-celebrities. Minor characters on hit and not-really-hit shows appear and wax eloquent (or not-so-eloquent) about Tiffany vs. Debbie, Michael Jackson, Lisa Lisa and the Cult Jam, etc. Geez! Anyone can do that!! I can do that, for crying out loud! Then again, I don't think i could stomach how poorly those things are edited, and how anything I'd say would be reduced to its most ridiculous and stupid sounding part. (and boy, would it be easy to get stuff like that from me!)

Radar Magazine was right. We really are a B-list nation!!

So along the lines of celeb gossip and pop culture cheese, i've been reading a lot of semi-trashy sites, on top of watching trashy pop culture profiles and shows. Here's my list of trashy/fun bookmarks, for your persuing pleasure.

Radar Magazine Radar, my new favorite magazine.
Gawker.com NYC based gossip log featuring the exploits of celebs (all different kinds) in the Big Apple.
Eonline.com home of Ted Casablanca, haha. On eof the originals, and still one of the best.
Adrants not really celeb gossip, mostly ad agency news and some celeb gossip
Fark.com Yea yea, everyone knows this site already, but it demands a mention here.

If you think of any other ones, lemme know! hehehe.

addendum to midnight ramblings

to add a little to my midnight ramblings post...

i should probably clarify that i'm probably overreacting a lot, it was late at night, and i was probably on crack or something. and reading back, i guess i spent a good amount of time whining about friendster. so let me elaborate on what i was thinking...

my thoughts about friendster aren't so much about whether people post or not or how they toot my horn or whatever, but rather... it just raised to me a lot of interesting questions when i was thinking about this stuff. back in senior year of high school, i wrote an essay for the san jose mercury news about how i felt like i was at a crossroads, starting college, and so forth. these people whom i've shared so much will basically pass out of my daily consciousness...

with enough time, are people forgotten?

i guess i'm just in such a questioning phase of who my real friends really are, and i feel terrible thinking that a lot of my friends from high school, whom i've always considered myself closest to, are just drifting away. we're growing up, with different interests, different career plans, and different sensibilities of what each of us wants in our lives.

growing isn't a bad thing.. it's a necessary part of human existence. people *should* grow and think and learn from their experiences, as opposed to just 'aging' and getting old physically.

so... i guess my central emotion is fear. it's the fear that i've taken for granted people in my life. it's the fear that these people, having had enough of me, have finally decided to leave. it's the fear that i'm a bad friend, have been a bad friend, and will forever be doomed to being a bad friend. and it's also the fear that as it was, i might just have been a funny little blip on the radar for people who have been deeply impacting for me. it's perhaps a fear of insignificance, in both my personal and career life.

so my apologies for my ranting the other night. i think i just let my demons haunt me a little too much that day. 0_o

midnight ranting

Can’t sleep.

Wondering too much about my parents. About my friends. About my husband-to-be. I wonder if I’m right for him. I hope I’m right for him, because he’s done so much for me that I don’t even think he could possibly begin to understand. He is my rock, my safe haven, my shelter, my source of energy. He means more to me than he could ever know, because I will never figure out any way to tell him properly. And so many days, I wonder if there is something better for him…

He deserves brilliance and tenderness, sensitivity and caring. He needs someone more considerate of his needs than I end up being much of the time. He needs a strong support, because he’s too often held the load alone.

So am I this person? I have a hard time believing that I might be. I’m flaky and terrible, shallow and dull. I might have sparks or moments of being interesting, but then I fade away like the cheap firecracker you buy from the shady guy on Second Street. I am weakness and indulgence, indolence and apathy when I used to be brimming with ambition, passion, and strength.

Yet he still fell for me, even though I was at my lowest, as opposed to one who fell for me while I was at my best. I see my best as someone who is ambitious and forward, confident, inspiring, talented, creative, and motivated. I see the best version of me as being one of energy and drive, with an eagerness to fulfill her dreams. This version of me wants to live life to its fullest, climb trees and scale mountains, topple establishments and dream dreams, big and small, and maybe aspire to pursue some of them one day.

So what am I now?

When I went home for my sister’s graduation last month, at some point my father and I had a conversation about a rather poignant topic. I was talking about some high school friends and what they were up to, and so forth. And then he asked me,

“What do your friends think of you?”

I paused. I don’t really remember what I said, but I think I rambled off something to the effect of ‘they’re really happy for me that I’ve found someone who makes me really happy.’ The fact that I don’t remember exactly is probably a sign that I was bullshitting a little bit.

The truth is, I don’t know what my friends think of me. It’s been a long time since I’ve talked with any of them. Not only that, the last time they talked to me was highly dependent on the last time I got in touch with them, which for the most part was not anytime recently at all. Sadly, the correspondence that takes place between my friends and me usually stops on my side, not for any sort of intent to create animosity, but worse. It’s out of my awful habit of procrastinating. And you know, once you start procrastinating, it’s easier to forget. And pretty soon, you forget you were supposed to write so and so a letter, or give such and such a call, or return someone’s email.

This continues for some time, and eventually people give up. It’s like credit: no credit is better than bad credit, and in the friendship department, I have pretty awful credit.

And eventually, people grow up. They grow up and realize that I’m a bitch who doesn’t return phone calls or Ims or emails or even letters, and they have enough interesting/cool people in their lives that they realize they don’t have to bother with me. Or, maybe they do, but they’re certainly less excited to talk to me than at the get go. They realize I’m kinda boring, and really flaky, so they kind of.. melt away…

So my Friendster says that I’m connected to 286150 people through 93 friends. So maybe I’m well loved, right? =P some of those people don’t really know me personally. They only know me through activities they’ve done with me. So that cuts the number probably in half. And of the ones I do consider my friends, or at least considered friends in the past, only a few have left testimonials. And of those testimonials, very few are actually more than just “oh she’s so energetic and hyper!” and you know, energetic and hyper is fine, yes. But I have some weird idea that I’m a little more than that…

At any rate, testimonials don’t really mean very much. Most of it is made up, thrown together, and people don’t have time to do them anyway. I personally have yet to write testimonials for most of my friends, so I have no reason to say anything. But I wonder if in the past couple of years, I’ve revealed my inner awfulness to people, now that the polish of my UCLA social education has worn off a bit in my recent months of frustration. The closest friends of mine (mostly my high school friends, whose opinion i've always held in high respect) who once called me smart and kind and supported me when i was going through a lot of awful things in my life don’t really say things like that any more, as if in silent rebuke for the person I’ve become in the recent time that’s passed.

I’ve sent people the message that I want to be left to my own devices, and now they do it. But…

There is no but. It’s my own fault I lost these people. It’s not that hard to keep in touch – a Christmas card here, an email, a phone call, even an IM response. =P

I’m a terrible person. I think that’s what people think of me nowadays. And maybe they’re right.

Time for me to go to bed.

a handy nutrition link

i'm feeling green today. mm... green.

for quite some time now, jerimy has been rather unhappy with the "happy fat" he's put on since we've been together. but last week, he decided to do something about it. inspired by his friend's very positive experience with the atkins diet, jerimy opted to try a version of it himself. so he's been counting carbs, fat, fiber, and calories in his quest to cut the carbs and trim some of his happy fat. so far, he's doing really well -- he's lost about 6 pounds since he started last thursday.

we've also learned a lot of interesting nutritional facts since he started this diet. the USDA has a site with a searchable database with the complete nutritional information of thousands and thousands of food items.

look up some interesting info about your favorite foods. you might be surprised about what you find out.

http://www.nal.usda.gov/fnic/cgi-bin/nut_search.pl

Clean Your Room!!

Stolen from Alice's blog, here's a little flash game you can play to kill some time.

pictures finally online!!

to those curious, photos are now finally online. click on the "photos" link on the top frame, or just click here.

pics from coachella and flaming lips are not yet up, but they are forthcoming.

enjoy!!

just for you~!

since i can't do this for you all the time, this will just have to do.

vegas vacation

So we're back from our trip to vegas ("vegas, baby, vegas!!") and a good time was had by all. jerimy and i stayed at the mirage, which is a pretty sweet establishment if you ask me. for one thing, their pool area is amazing. they designed it to look like island lagoons, complete with waterfalls and waterslides. i wish i had a picture to share, but stupid me forgot to take one. it's an especially dumb mistake considering that we had gotten a free upgrade and had a sweet ass view of the pool, as well as the whole southern end of the strip. [snaps fingers]

The restaurants at the mirage are also quite amazing. we had dinner at our favorite place in vegas, Kokomo's, which also happens to be in the Mirage. make no mistake: if you ever are in vegas and happen to be in the mood for the best damn prime rib you've ever had, you need to stop at Kokomo's. You seriously get something like a side of cow wheeled over to your table, but it's the most tender, most succulent, most flavorful prime rib you can imagine. And if Jer, who is a filet mignon fan (and who ordered the 16 oz filet!!), can attest to the quality of Kokomo's prime rib, well... i think you need to at least consider this place. :) The Mirage also has really tasty ice blended drinks too!! The margarita we had at Kokomo's was soooooo yummy, and my strawberry daquiri was also a complete and utter delight. The Mirage also has a drink called the "White Tiger," which is something like a pina colada with amaretto and kahlua, that will deliciously send you to a very happy place. :) I highly recommend it.

So here are a couple of pictures from the trip that almost didn't materialize. Jer and i have been deathly ill for about the past two weeks, and even the day before leaving for vegas, we were pretty much walking infections (naaaasty). We actually missed a friend's wedding since the process of sleeping off the illness inadvertently led to sleeping through the wedding. (ouch.) We still need to send over our gifts and our congratulations cards >_< aaah!!

this is jer and me in the rainforest in the mirage.

jerimy in front of the luxor sphinx.

pearl in front of the paris hotel fountain.

the london underground

Did you know that during WWII, many Londoners used the Underground stations as bomb shelters during air raids? The BBC is airing a special on one particular incident involving the London Underground, one that has gone down as the worst civilian tragedy of the war. There is a brief history of the Underground as a bomb shelter on this page and a synopsis of the terrible event, but there's no way to watch the special online. :(

To me, it's still so amazing to look back and think about what everyday life would be like during the time of a real war. It's something that most Americans have been lucky to never experience here in the States. Hopefully we'll never have stories like these to tell for ourselves.

some sad passings...

Robert McCloskey passed away this week. :( Make Way For Ducklings was one of my favorite books as I was growing up.

Katherine Hepburn also passed on this week. I think she is the cooler of the two Hepburns (the other being Audrey), but that's just me.

overdue update

so tired! so so so tired!! and sick!! aaaah!!

updates will be forthcoming. honest. i promise.