Super coughy today.<\/p>\n
I think I already had a bit of an itchy throat before going to vegas, but all those smoky lounges and recycled air did me no darned good.<\/p>\n
Just finished doing a hand wash load of the shirt and bra I wore Saturday night. Hooray for washing out clubbing stink.<\/p>\n
I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m thinking again about this writing-type-thing that I haven\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t been doing for a long time. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve been writing in paper journals quite a bit recently, but nothing that I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve published on the web. I got a lot quieter about publishing details from my personal life after I started seeing Jerimy. Part of it was because I was spending less time blogging and more time with him. But in some ways, it was a lot of self-censorship, because the things I would have talked about would have revealed some imperfection in my relationship, which I was already feeling shaky about. Looking back, perhaps some additional examination might have been a good idea.<\/p>\n
It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s been nearly a year since I had The Talk with Jerimy. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s been about 7 months since I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve been down in Los Angeles. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s been about 5 months since it was decided that it was definitely over. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve got about 4 months to go before my divorce becomes official.<\/p>\n
(Is there faith in numbers?)<\/p>\n
What a strange, strange year. What a strange, strange relationship. 2007 has been really odd to me so far, filled with a lot of surprising discoveries about myself, as well as about the people around me. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m finally confronting a lot of things I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t like about my previous relationships (not just the one with Jerimy), and learning that dealing with something doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t mean you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re happy. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m finding out that I can actually pass for a reasonably attractive person (not like HOT or whatever, but you know, \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcall right\u00e2\u20ac\u2122), and that I probably could land a decently attractive fellow if I tried a little bit.<\/p>\n
(Incidentally, a lot of the issues that the ex had a problem with in terms of my looks have kind of been resolved in the past few months. I have to say, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m looking way better than I did a year ago. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s amazing what a haircut, new skincare regimen, and some cute clothes can do for you. Not to mention practicing the art of tarting myself up. =p)<\/p>\n
As is probably obvious, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve spent a lot of time trying to numb out the pain, trying to distract myself and put some distance between who I was now and then. Stepping back makes it easier to see things for what they were, not to mention make me feel better when realize how dumb I was, with the emphasis on \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcwas\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 rather than \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcam\u00e2\u20ac\u2122. Small consolation, but I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll take my breaks where I can get them.<\/p>\n
I sometimes feel like I lost a ton of time (not to mention a part of myself) by being with Jerimy for so long. I also feel like I leave it as a marked woman, someone tagged with the title \u00e2\u20ac\u0153divorcee\u00e2\u20ac\u009d rather than some happy-go-lucky single gal. I wonder how much that will affect my chances for happiness in the end, if I can meet someone who is willing to get past that black mark and be interested in something more long-term than some fly-by-night hookup. Then again, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m quite sure I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not ready for anything serious now anyway\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 0_o<\/p>\n
Wow, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m definitely rambling now. Time to help the cough and go to sleep.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Super coughy today. I think I already had a bit of an itchy throat before going to vegas, but all those smoky lounges and recycled air did me no darned good. Just finished doing a hand wash load of the shirt and bra I wore Saturday night. Hooray for washing out clubbing stink. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m thinking … <\/p>\n