{"id":81,"date":"2001-05-16T10:12:32","date_gmt":"2001-05-16T17:12:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.pearlescent.org\/blog\/?p=81"},"modified":"2001-05-16T10:12:32","modified_gmt":"2001-05-16T17:12:32","slug":"and-maybe-i-resent-being","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.pearlescent.org\/blog\/2001\/05\/and-maybe-i-resent-being\/","title":{"rendered":"and maybe I resent being"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>and maybe I resent being changed. If I&#8217;m going to change, I change on my terms. why should I for any other reason? <\/p>\n<p>I look at this person now, and I see myself about a year ago, when I lost sight of what generous love entails. I had become possessive and petty, this whole other animal that came out of me because I was scared and insecure. I started trying to base my love on tokens of love, and not seeing it for what it was. but tokens aren&#8217;t anything.. just scraps of paper, or long distance conversations. you can&#8217;t base a love on bits of paper. you&#8217;ve got to base it on the feeling, and that trust that yes, that other person really does care&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>but maybe.. when you clearly aren&#8217;t connecting, and you can&#8217;t love each other in the way they need to be loved.. what happens then? I guess you just have to let it go&#8230;?<\/p>\n<p>so yeah, I&#8217;m still trying to figure all this out. I don&#8217;t know if any of this makes any sense.. I&#8217;ve been feeling slightly bare to the world with this blog.. part of me wants to be brutally honest, but then again.. I don&#8217;t know who&#8217;s reading this&#8230; and since I&#8217;ve been feeling misunderstood as a person in general, I don&#8217;t really expect people to get it from reading this blog anyway. -throws arms up in the air.-<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>and maybe I resent being changed. If I&#8217;m going to change, I change on my terms. why should I for any other reason? I look at this person now, and I see myself about a year ago, when I lost sight of what generous love entails. I had become possessive and petty, this whole other &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.pearlescent.org\/blog\/2001\/05\/and-maybe-i-resent-being\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;and maybe I resent being&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-81","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.pearlescent.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.pearlescent.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.pearlescent.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.pearlescent.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.pearlescent.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=81"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.pearlescent.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.pearlescent.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=81"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.pearlescent.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=81"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.pearlescent.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=81"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}